What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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