Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
