its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
