I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
