He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
