I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize