so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
