Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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