plz talk dirty to me
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
