this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
