I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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