At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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