If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
