why didn't you poke me back
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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