:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
