it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
