just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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