Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
