You're a womanizer and a bitch.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
