I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
