I like my sex mixed with concussions.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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