Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
