I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize