My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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