I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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