the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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