I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
