Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
