So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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