Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
