did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
