if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize