I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
