and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
