I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize