i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
