my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
