Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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