I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
