How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
