Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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