The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
