Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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