am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
