So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
