she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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