Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
