If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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