i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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