You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
