Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
