I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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