Who did Billy Mays play for?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
They have beer where we have blood.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
