I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
