Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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