Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
