There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize