whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
