whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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