You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize